Subject: STD list (fwd)



            25 Ways to Tell if You're at Risk from an STD
 1.)  You have a welcome mat next to your bed.
 2.)  You have to install a take-a-ticket machine.
 3.)  Clarence Thomas now compares himself to you.
 4.)  Your partner screams out Freddie Mercury's name during sex.
 5.)  You had to play "the wife" during your stay in prison.
 6.)  You score a 2% on the 1200 question Purity Test.
 7.)  Every newborn in your state looks like you.
 8.)  You go to take off the condom after sex and all that is left
      is the rubberband.
 9.)  Your partner screams the name of his/her pets during sex.
10.)  You see the guy in the Red Cross Bloodmobile shooting up just after
      you're done.
11.)  Your I.V. bag has Liberacci monogrammed on it.
12.)  You go through at least one gerbil a week.
13.)  Hookers write you fan mail.
14.)  You see your partner shooting up with the needle you found at the
      Jersey shore.
15.)  You're made an honorary member of the Spur Posse.
16.)  You have had enough lovers that they form their own union.
17.)  Hugh Hefner suggests you slow down.
18.)  The sperm bank considers you its chief competition.
19.)  You walk into your Human Sexuality class to a round of applause.
20.)  You walk into you Deviant Behavior class to find that this week's
      subject is you.
21.)  The notches on your bedpost start to look like a metric ruler.
22.)  Dr. Ruth starts asking you for advice.
23.)  You're personal motto is, "What the hell - I'll fuck it".
24.)  Your penis falls off.
25.)  You find yourself having unprotected anal intercourse with prostitutes
      while shooting herion with a used needle during your blood transfusion